Today, yes today July 1, 2008 My baby girl was born.. Yes that right she was born.  I am so excited that she is here.  And I can't wait to see her.  Even though I was never told that the mother of my baby was going into labor which is kinda messed up.  She is finally here.  Yeah I was left out and one of the last to know which break my heart.  I am over that now, well kind of but its alright.  Yeah that right I didn't see her yet because of circumstances but thats another subject.  Well this is my heart as of right now to those who want to read this.

Despite the circumstance I tend to hold on to the little faith that I have and hope for defense and security in the one who breathed into me, and I mean by a thin thread.  For those you really know me when I mean thin thread.  I can't not seem to shake the feeling in my being to just give up and go back to sleep with the circumstances but that what I really want to do.  "If you know what sleeping is"  According to most I don't think they know what sleeping is in view of peoples present conditions.  The question arises to me may come off hypocritical but in all reality if we are Christians why do we treat each other with condemning and hypocritical spirits.  Or should I say let those spirit continue to oppress us if we really are free in Christ?  Can somebody please answer that question?  The funny thing I have only seen a few people actually walk like this on earth.  Not that I am perfect or say that I am because I am far from it.  What reality are we really living in?  I recently purchase a book called Christ and the Powers.  I am hoping it will shed some light on things for me, but who knows.  ya know!  I try to stay sane but I can not see.  It feels like my light (I guess you can say) just wants to be extinguished.  The more that I try to do right and walk in love it seems like everyone; I mean certain people not everyone.  They are trying to take that life from me.  Have I awaken to something beyond my comprehension?  Or am I just imagining thing.  Well when it is all said and done my soul, spirit, body, whatever it still cries out to Him.  Why is that ?  I don't want an philosophical or religious answer but for real?  

In all other aspects I just can't wait to hold my baby girl.  

Praise the Name