Again its a late one, and I feel free to let you in on scoop. Have you ever opened your heart up toward God in a way in which he just poured out his Love on you? Um that stuff is no joke. OMW for those of you who don't know "Oh my word" There is a key that we can tap into. I am thinking I just did what or been waiting to do for awhile. Incredible, The Fear, the Joy, the grace... I don't know but its crazy. Its as if you can fix your eye on Him and He takes you right back.. Maybe my prayer about having the eyes of heart enlightened ya know. But what can I say maybe it took this long for a reason ya know.

Well its twelve oclock at night and I am now just starting to blog. And I have been on my cpu since nine thirty. Talk about zoning out and listening to music. To those few souls out there reading this I love music. Need I stress that about me. If it wasn't for music I probably would be considered insane. Excuse me as I laugh at that statement. I sometimes think that if you did not know, but let me carrying you out of that pointless topic into another subject. Had a very interesting day today especially at work. It was just me and my manager there and he was chatting away with me about such and such and god and choices. Very interesting stuff if I might say. Whateva. Have you ever felt as if you haven't given everything to God, but your spirit and heart just wants to crys out and give Him everything? I say your spirit, as if I am asking you, and your really listening. I bet very few people are, it doesn't bother me one bit though. The last week, this morning, yesterday my heart, my spirit, my mind have been crying out to God. Its been really hard especially at this time in my life, or should I say His life.. I will come back to that topic later if your hear listening to your brain read this. I not only want you to just read this but feel it in your heart my cry. Its not my cry but your also. You have the same Holy Spirit that I have that was in Jesus Christ. The agony the moaning of my thoughts, my heart, my spirit all day. I really believe there is a key that inside me that i need to release. I often refer to the Key of See a song that I listen to alot. Maybe I am just waiting to die. Hopefully you know what I am talking about and I hope you do. A certain death that us as believe expirence or come to I should say. But back to the situation at hand. I know people have there own situation and all but can i ask you does your whole being cry out in such a desperate way? Ha! I am trying to find a balance. Maybe I am full of it but I really don't care. All I know is that how I used to live that lifestyle, draws me back to the Lord. But what do I know.
I have been thinking about talking about identity, and sharing some stuff about the Christ life I have had some revelation on, but I just don't have the words to express. So what am I suppose to do, I just need you to bare with me for a little bit. Not to long I just have to get some things off my chest. So......

A quote I remember I had from this book I let this lady borrow. I pray that I get it back to finish reading it..
The Hidden Life by Adolph Saphir. I just thought I would post this paragraph and see what you all think of it so ... there you go.

"The godly man hates the evil he possibly by temptation hath been drawn to do, and loves the good he is frustrated of, and, having intended, hath not attained to do. The sinner, who hath his denomination from sin as his course, hates the good which sometimes he is forced to do, and loves that sin which many times he does not, either wanting occasion and means, so that he cannot do it, or through the check of an enlightend conscience possibly dares not do; and though so bound up form the act, as a dog in a chain, yet the habit, the natural inclination and desire in him, is still the same, the strength of his affection is carried to sin. So in the weakest sincere Christian, there is that predominant sincerity and desire of holy walking, according to which he is called a righteous person : the Lord is pleased to give him that name, and account him so, being upright in heart though often failing." -- Archbishop Leighton

Well I have been thinking alot the past few weeks. Just the usual God, relationships, beliefs, family, friends, choices, and life basically. If I could just express the thought I was thinking during work. How my mind races and I just can't shake the thoughts. Have you ever had that? A thought that you can't shake.. Well the Lord know s that I have, and I am learning to trust in Him. Who is that? The King Jesus that who. For the fact that only a few people may read this I will be real with you. Its one thing to just express what I have been thinking or whatever. I want to be real and I know who I am. Real, right here and right now. A young man learning how to trust in the Lord in this big world. I say the word trust as if I don't know what it means. I know what it means on the real, but I have trust issues, and I know I am not the only one. I have trusted before and have been used and abuse. (a little exaggeration, but you get my drift) and to be honest it is hard for me to trust anybody. It says in the word to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, and in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy path." That verse has been speaking to my heart the past few weeks which is really cool.
But anywayz let my heart express it self. On the real I want to talk about the heart. For one, I just receive the revelation that my heart can sing. Not just sing but literally sing. Oh only if I could just have my heart express itself to its fullest. Like you know to have the Holy Spirit move your heart in such a way that not even you could understand. Talk about Waking the Dead. That is the real you know. Now let me be real for you again. Now back to the heart, mind, body, spirit, and soul. I want to talk about the heart. It seem or have notice that there is a battle for the heart. Which side is going to win. (All that spiritual warfare stuff I think you already know about) Maybe its just me and I finally able to be granted the grace to understand and discern the thoughts of my flesh and the spirits. On the real it might be funny to some but I been or am being attacked by this spirit that is trying to give me some type of identity. Tell me who I am and this is my past and this is what I did yadda yadda yadda. Need I go on. But its really scary I should say. I am learning how to trust in the identity the Lord has called me to or even if he has called me to this type of living. How to live by the spirit. I have really been praying and meditation on the Ephesians 1:16-18. If you don't know the verses look it up. But like I said my heart alive and awake. Its like there is stuff my heart is crying out for things that I just can't explain. There are so many things that are going on in my head in my heart in my soul and spirit I just can not express it or put it in words. I wish I could and really tell you all how I think and feel towards situations or things or believe but its hard for me at night to express things such as that. Maybe I need to write on a note pad throughout the day. I think that would help. Any way there will be more so stay tuned to those the very few that read.
To be Continued

New Beginnings 2008


For the year 2008 what can I say. A new beginning in the chapter of Jelani Brinson. What can I say that you don't already know. Well some of you probably don't know, but if you do you know what I am talking about. If you don't know well maybe I will tell you later. HaHa... Anyways a couple verses I am going to be meditating on for this year, and a couple books that I am going to start reading, throughout the year. But here are a few verses about trusting in the Lord that I am going to be meditating on throughout the year.
Here ya go

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding

Proverbs 21:22
A wise man scales the city of the mighty and brings dow the stronghold in which they trust.

Psalms 56:11
In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to be?

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

Isaiah 26:4
Trust in the Lord forever; for in God the Lord, (we have) an everlasting rock.

2 Corinthians 1:9
Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.